It has been some time since I have sat down to write as the summer holidays whizzed by in a flurry of cricket courses, days at the beach, rugby courses, day trips to famous English tourist destinations, art courses, and visits from friends from London and finally our own glorious holiday in France.
Tasks I normally tend to with great care were ignored and I have had a backlog of dull administrative items to deal with. As I sat at my computer attempting to make an online payment for our telephone bill I felt a distinct chill which must mean autumn is about to hit us. So after doing what any sensible girl would do and order some new soft and warm cashmere pieces to ensure the cold does not reach my bones, I will be wrapping up in a cosy Fendi sweater which sits comfortably under a rather indulgent Thomas Wylde poncho. With my own body dealt with I turned my attention to the rest of the household and remembering how cold this lovely old house can get I rang the elusive log man, aptly named locally as Bob The Log, yes really, and everyone around here is always desperate to track him down at this time of year, so they can stock up on logs to burn throughout the winter months.
Last year I was told of the difficulties of getting Bob The Log to deliver and people often have to wait for a month for their load to arrive (sounds like an ex-boyfriend), so when he brought our precious cargo last year I had a plan that would guarantee that Bob The Log would always be eager to put me on the top of his list. Naturally, I did my research prior to his arrival. I was told he could be quite grumpy, was often in pain due to some problems with his legs, he was quite large, and most importantly, his dog was his constant companion and he took her everywhere with him. Simple, he would be putty in my well moisturised hands.
He did not disappoint and was exactly as I imagined him to be and arrived in the most frightful grump. He didn't really want to talk to me and asked for the "man of the house". He was quite huffy when I told him he wasn't in, but not to worry as I could deal with the logs. "But" I said, "Why not have some tea before we unload, you must be exhausted after all that chopping". I saw his eyes brighten and then I added I that I had some delicious chocolate cake that I had just made that he might like to have with his mug of tea. Then I went in for the kill and began cooing over his lovely dog, and asked if it was alright if I gave her a dog biscuit, at that moment I knew I'd be able to have as many logs as I wanted, whenever I wanted them.
So when I rang him I was delighted to hear him say that I was on the top of his list, and he was going to call me with a delivery time as the weather was turning and he knew I'd be wanting some logs. Handsome husband was delighted when I told him the good news that we wouldn't be freezing this year, and was quite excited when I mentioned that some of the logs needed breaking up as they were quite large. He told me that wouldn't be a problem he would just get his big chopper out again.
